I feel like with my kids it is like pulling teeth to get them to do theirs.
They are good about making their beds and making sure their rooms are clean before they leave for school everyday, but when it comes time to clean bathrooms etc....it will take them hours to do a 20 minute job. (and me yelling at them)
So Sat. I told them all kindly what they needed to do and then reminded them and that was it. I decided to see what would happen if I only said it twice and didn't raise my voice.
Well needless to say they didn't do it...so yesterday after church I told them they couldn't eat dinner until all their stuff was done...it was like 2 hours of the back and forth.
I want to pull my hair out. I have taught each of them how to throughly clean the bathrooms and it's not like I am asking them to come clean mine. Just their own messes.....
I asked Cooper if he thought I asked too much of them..(clearly I don't but just wanted to see what he said) he of course said no...and then did tell Jackson he was only cleaning his own messes. The guilt trip worked I guess.....
Conwey doesn't believe in allowance...I do though and it makes it hard to figure out what to do.
I think that if they earn money for doing work they will learn a good work ethic. Conwey doesn't think they should get paid to do stuff they should be doing..they are part of a family kind of thing....and they get money when they need it....
I worry about this generation of kids....I feel they have so much and expect so much...all their friends have it blah... blah... blah....we also are so busy with all their activities they don't have the time like I did when I was a kid to really clean on Saturdays....
If anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them!
5 comments:
Okay, so I don't have any pointers regarding the chore thing. I can't even get the kids to pick up their toys. But, I do think I read somewhere that it was your birthday. Happy Birthday. Let's go to din din soon to celebrate!
I just spent an hour this morning going back and forth with Kennedy. I don't let them watch a show until they have done their stuff. Most days she is fine but others she comes unglued and she wears me out. I have to say though, I completely agree with Conways view. No pay. However you could maybe let them earn money doing other chores (bigger ones maybe?) after their regular ones are done. I hope someone else leaves a helpful comment for you/us. And happy birthday *<:) oh yes, the smiley face is wearing a b-day hat...only in the blogging world...
My kids are actually pretty good about chores now that we have been working on a system for a while. I have a weekly wheel chart that we rotate each week and each child has 3 jobs they do daily ( from garbage to reading my 5 year old a book before bed). These jobs dont include making beds or keeping rooms cleans they know they have to do that before they go to school. On saturday they have 3 or 4 more extra jobs that they have to do before they can go anywhere so they usually get it done quick. I dont pay my kids for working but they get an allowance per. week according to what age they are. We look at it like we are trying to give them opportunities to learn what to do with money how to save, pay tithing, using it for dumb things they ask for and really thinking about how they want to use it. We give our kids an incentive of whatever they put in a savings account we double but they cant take it out until 18. I think kids actually like to work and be a part of the family once you get a system down. Sorry for the novel.
My parents usually attached some sort of work to every dollar I wanted from them. (Not always, but enough to teach the lesson and make it stick.) If I wanted 20 bucks for a date, there was a lawn to be mowed; if I wanted 10 bucks for a movie, there was always a tub to be scrubbed. But all that works for is the situations in which a kid wants something. (I think this is where I got my no-such-thing-as-a-free-lunch mentality, which comes in handy as an adult.)
But then there's the question which you posed of how to get them to do stuff without having to use money. Restriction/grounding worked well for us. We had things that needed to get done and we knew if we didn't that our weekends would be a lot more boring. And my parents were good at making sure we were BORED---and they didn't give in. A whole weekend without TV was always devastating enough to get me to do stuff the first time my mom asked. Okay, maybe not always. I tested her every now and again and sometimes won, but not often.
I'm with Conwey- we're part of a family team and you don't get paid to help out the team. We do give a monthly allowance to teach the kids to pay tithing, save for missions and college and to learn to save up for the toys they want. As for chores, we have have a few, simple daily chores (make bed, unload the dishwasher) that have to be done before any fun activities, lessons or play dates. Saturdays we have Saturday morning chores where we set a timer so the kids know they only have to work for a designated amount of time - usually 30 to 45 minutes- and if they complete their assignments we have a fun activity as a family.
Happy Birthday!
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