Well today was a very rainy and gloomy day outside. It was the perfect way to describe how I woke up feeling.
4 years ago today was the day my mom passed away. It is weird how it all comes flooding back.
Even though it does get a bit easier everyday I don't think there is a day that goes by I don't think of my mom.
My mom and I...I know I have used this picture of us on the floor before but it just makes me happy.
I think as the years go by it really bothers me more and more that I feel I am forgetting little details. I haven't heard her laugh in 4 years.... I haven't heard her voice in 4 years...I haven't felt her hugs in 4 years....my kids are growing up and she doesn't get to see it. I could always count on her to laugh at my silly stories about them that no one else would think was funny.
I was talking to my friend today who also lost her mom and we were saying how it's weird how you sometimes forget or think...I have to call mom and tell her that or ask her this....
I see things in stores and pick it up and think to myself...oh mom would love this for her birthday.
Then you remember and that sad feeling comes right back.
My mom and I went through ALOT together. She was my best friend.
PLEASE don't laugh at the hair!!! Let's just pray these styles do not come back!!!
PLEASE don't laugh at the hair!!! Let's just pray these styles do not come back!!!
This was in Colorado at my brothers house (we went out to see his first new little daughter after she was born) my mom and sister Holly had been driving all night and my mom wasn't feeling well....she looks so pail in this picture.....Holly, Rach, mom, me, and Wade.
My mom and her brother Mark always celebrated their birthdays together. That is my sister Becca and my two cousins in the picture with them.She was a really good healthy cook and even though I didn't love it as a child that is how I like to eat as an adult.
She really enjoyed the simple things in life. I hope I am like that too.
She loved her family! Her parents, her brothers, and her sister more than anything.
She loved her kids. She went through a lot for them, even though she had a tough time taking care of 6 kids on her own after her divorce she ALWAYS tried to make all of us happy however she could.
She was the hardest worker I knew.
She had her struggles in life but she always tried to see the bright side of things.
I really really miss my mom!
I was in Florida on vacation when I found out about it and I will never ever forget that moment.
Very surreal!
My siblings (minus Becca) at the funeral home at her viewing. We were very sad in this picture...
All 6 of us at the cemetery....Becca, me, Rachel, Jeremy, Holly, and Wade.
I was in Florida on vacation when I found out about it and I will never ever forget that moment.
Very surreal!
My siblings (minus Becca) at the funeral home at her viewing. We were very sad in this picture...
All 6 of us at the cemetery....Becca, me, Rachel, Jeremy, Holly, and Wade.
The program for her funeral....
I remember having a really hard time leaving her at the cemetery. It just felt so wrong that we were all going back to my Uncle's house for dinner and it was sooooo cold outside. I cried as I looked out the back window of the car looking at her little casket there... watching as we drove away.
I know she is in a better place and she is happy. I just miss her!
Maureen Milligan Hardie
I know she is in a better place and she is happy. I just miss her!
Maureen Milligan Hardie
16 comments:
I feel compelled to leave a comment but I have no words. Plus I can't see my computer anymore through my tears. You look like Sienna in the picture of the two of you on the floor. I seriously think you should write a memoir about your life. Your mom was so pretty and you look like her. And she was such an amazing person. She would have to be to make you the way you are. Okay I need to watch a Friends rerun now.
thinking about you jess. your words made me cry. hope you are doing good.
That was so touching! I would have loved to have known your mom as well. From everything you have told me, she seems like she would have been so much fun! I'm sure she is smiling down on you every day and is completely proud of what a wonderful mother and friend you are :)
Jess, I can't say I know how it feels. Just know that I am feeling for you. I know it must be extremely difficult. I admire your strength to share this. You will be glad you wrote down the memories. Hugs from me. Really. Love ya!
Jess, I loved your mom! I am amazed at how she kept things going all those years. She had gorgeous kids and left a great legacy. She would be so proud of you and the beautiful job you are doing with your family. Life can be so hard to understand sometimes, I am sorry about your mom and I can't imagine how hard this is every year. You are such a strong amazing person, I have always admired you for that.
Jess, more than anything for me today this post reminds me of how I need to be more aware of appreciating my loved ones. That picture of you and your siblings at the funeral home breaks my heart, I can see nothing but pain and heartache...But what a wonderful woman your mom seemed to be, and how much of what you share about her I see reflected in you. Thanks for sharing this Jessie
what a touching tribute to your mother. she was beautiful (even with the great 80's hair) just like you.
Dearest Jessie,
I was thinking of you as I was hold with my mom's insurance company. I clicked on your blog to find your sweet message. All I can say is I love you and I think of the times with you and your mom often. I miss you and hope you know I have thought of you so much the last few months. I love you Jessie.
Love
Melisa
This is what all moms want their children to say/think about them. I hope some day one of my children will say something as sweet about me. Love you Jess!
I just wanted to add that I know your mom is really proud of what an awesome mother you are!
i've always admired what a great mom you are jessie. i think that's a reflection of how much your mom and you loved each other.
and jess, i think that of all your kids, sienna looks the most like you!
this made me cry. what a beautiful woman your mother was. thank you for sharing this with us.
Jessie, Every mother wants to be loved and remembered like that. What is it about mother/daughters or mother/children that is so tender and trying at the same time? The amazing thing is how it ends with us only remembering the love, courage, sacrifice and tender care and that is all that matters. You're right, we just wish we could pick up the phone talk and hear them listen to us like no one else ever will again. That picture of you children at the funeral home was a "blow to my heart" (as Ed always says). It is so universal that you should publish it. Everyone looking at t hat photo would suddenly realize what it is like to lose your mom. I love you and will be forever grateful for the kind of mother you are to my grandchildren who are so lucky to have you. Thanks, Jess....Jill
I am quite sure your mother is very proud of you and very aware of you and your sweet family. You are a fantastic mother. (hug)
That was a really beautiful post, Jessie. I loved hearing about your mom. BTW, Is she buried at the Kaysville cemetery? I grew up right down the road from there.
Jessie, this is a really nice post. I enjoyed reading it, though it made my heart ache. Your mom was gorgeous, inside and out.
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